How I could solve global warming, dependency on foreign oil, and obesity with one simple solution.

I think it’s pretty much my turn to save the world. After watching so many presidential candidates talk about how they have done it in their various states and districts,  and after suffering through a countless barrage of super-hero movies where the protagonist is able to do it, it’s my turn to save the world.

In my opinion, there are 4 primary threats which will ultimately break down society as we know it, unless someone steps up and intervenes. They are as follows:

  1. Obesity
  2. Dependency on foreign oil
  3. Global warming
  4. Bears
Well, that person is me. “They” say that a world is changed and/or saved by a single idea…and here in this post, in this severely underread blog, I intend to prove that.
Let me set the stage for my grandiose idea:
First off, I’ve been going to the gym lately. (pause for applause). I don’t know what has taken me so long to get back to a regular workout routine, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why I dread working out so often-I mean, how often do you ever leave the gym regretting the workout? But that’s a post for another time.
Anyhoo, I’m sitting their working out, and I look around me–and think to myself, “Self, there sure is a lot of movement going on in here…. And for what? To lift some pounds? To sweat to the oldies?”  At that moment, I had the singular, best idea ever to hit a person, since the creation of caramel apples.  It was as if the idea came down as mana from heaven, except the mana was a really good idea.
CONVERT EVERY PIECE OF GYM EQUIPMENT INTO AN ELECTRICITY GENERATOR!!!
Yes, that’s right. Take away anything that uses electricity, and replace it with something that is powered by man-made calorie burning. Put generators on every single piece of weight equipment. Instead of lifting pounds, convert some of the machines to just increase resistance. The more resistance, the more electricity… voila!
Then, run small cables from the machines to a larger cable, which then runs over to the city. I really think we could power a small house with all of the equipment being moved around, run on, pushed, etc.
Now, which of the primary threats would it solve, you ask? Pretty much all of them. Obesity? Duh… they are at the gym, combating that directly. Global warming? Think about all the immessions that are created by powering homes. (I have no idea, but you go ahead and think about it if you’d like). Saved. How? Grunting gym rats. And finally, Global Warming. This won’t actually impact global warming, at all… but the excitement over my new alternative energy source will drown out the talk about global warming, so people will just think it was solved as well. Bears? You’re on your own there, pal.
So there it is. My idea. I just saved the world.
Thank me later.
Oh, and I saw this commercial AFTER I thought of my idea:
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1 Comment

  1. All you need now (and I am serious) is an inventor who can tie the technology in to the machinery in an unobtrusive manner, and then someone who will start selling the idea to Gold’s and 24 Hour Fitness…

    Reply

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